Behind Every “Just Listed” Post… There’s a Broker Crying in a Corner
Post:
You think listing a property in Abu Dhabi is just “take photos, post online, wait for buyer”?
Oh sweet summer child… let me introduce you to the real theatre:
Step 1: Profile the seller like an FBI agent.
– “Why are you selling?”
– “Is it mortgaged?”
– “What’s your realistic price?”
– Seller: “I want 20% above market because… feelings.”
Violins scream in Arabic.
Step 2: Collect documents.
Title deed, Emirates ID, service charge statement, tenancy contract, blood sample, DNA results…
Seller: “Why do you need all that?”
Me: “Because Madhmoun said so… and Madhmoun is our new government overlord.”
Step 3: Issue the permit.
No Madhmoun → No listing → No QR code → No life.
It’s like an ad blocker for real estate agents.
You don’t have the QR? You don’t exist.
Step 4: 72-hour listing launch.
Photos, copywriting, portals, brochures, internal broadcast, WhatsApp funnels…
Meanwhile seller: “Why is it not sold yet?”
Me: “Because the laws of physics still apply.”
Step 5: Viewings.
– “Buyer said parking is too far.”
– “Another wants the sea view but only wants to pay desert-view money.”
– “One came to ‘see the vibe’.”
I now understand why therapists charge extra.
Step 6: Follow up.
2-hour feedback rule.
Weekly report.
14-day price review.
Seller: “Any update?”
Me: “Yes, I updated my will.”
Step 7: DARI → NOC → Transfer.
Banks, developers, buyers, sellers, signatures, contracts, manager cheques.
At this point, you’re not just an agent you’re a gentle mix of advisor, problem-solver, and emotional support all in one.
And after you finally close the deal?
You still have to cancel the Madhmoun permit or face punishment from the compliance godfather.
Mic drops. Broker collapses.
If you’re a seller who wants results without turning it into a Netflix tragedy, DM me.
If you’re an agent who still “just lists and waits”… may the QR code be with you.
REMAX REMAX UAE Re/max Smart Concept THINKPROP Abu Dhabi Real Estate Centre – مركز أبوظبي العقاري Raed Hamze Alireza Memar
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